


Balrog's Ice Cream Shop

by orphan_account



Category: Street Fighter
Genre: Other, alot of gay in here, like ALOT, this is like ooc AF so don't expect perfection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:04:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Balrog leaves Shadoloo to open up his very own ice cream shop but Bison and Vega will try their very best to hunt him down as he stole money from Bison's mother to open it up in the first place! Will Balrog be able to stop Bison and his henchmen from killing him? (warning for cursing) UNCENSORED ON WATTPAD!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my cat conri RIP my beautiful angel](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+cat+conri+RIP+my+beautiful+angel).



Note: I'm gonna be using the western names for the three we all know so:

Vega/Claw

Bison/Dictator

Balrog/Boxer

Also this work is OOC AF so dont yell at me about correctness of everyone's personalities,timelines.

I'm not a serious writer! This is all for fun!

\- Balrog's Ice Cream Shop-

It was a wonderful and nice breezy day to start evil duties in the Shadowloo office. , the dictator of this ~evil~ corporation, has began to start project "Kill the interpol girl and her friends." Well, he already took out two, so I don't know why the project barely started...anyways, his trusty S-rank assassin, Vega, has began on hunting the rest of those "hadouken losers". But Balrog was no-where to be found.

"Where's Balrog?" Bison asked.

The ex-bull fighter turned around and cocked his head, "I'm right here..what are you talking about?"

"N-no! You idiot! Where's that damn boxer!" Bison yelled in annoyance.

"We..we gave up bubbles awhile ago!" Vega choked as he began to form tears.

"NO! WHERE'S BISON! THAT KIND OF BOXER!" Bison screamed at the fighter.

"Oh! You should have just said Balrog, Boss! didn't know you were a boxer!" Vega smiled.

"Oh my lord, please don't let me choke this idiot." Bison murmured.

Vega looked around, "He was in Thailand like last week, but that was the last signal."

The big screen then began to blink big white letters of a call incoming.

"That must be him!" Vega announced in disgust.

Bison grumbled a little bit as he opened the call, shocked to see that Balrog was smiling like he pissed in Bison's cereal. Vega gasped transistining into a growl as he was hoping that Balrog would die or something.

"Balrog! Where have you been!?" Bison amplified his demanding question. The boxer started to laugh while he was opening a door.

"I have been living my dream! I'm done fighting for you Bison!" Balrog laughed as he put on his apron and hat. "I am opening an ice cream shop! You should come down enjoy a nice cold treat! Ahahahahah!"

Bison gritted his teeth as he severly punched Vega in the face out of anger that one of his best henchmen, is leaving.

"Balrog! What about the project!?" Vega yelled as he staggered and trying to balance himself.

Balrog stopped laughing for a moment and got closer to the webcam where he was streaming the call, basically mocking Vega's pondering question.

"T-the project? You wanna know about the project?" Smiled Balrog, mimicking Vega's worried tone. "It's off! I destroyed the files! Ahahaah!"

Bison and Vega both gasped in sudden realization.

"Balrog! You fool! I have a copy of the files as well!" Bison shot back as he threw Vega in anger. The Spanish fighter screamed for his life as he landed on the ground.

"Pl-please no more.." He weakly mumbled as he just laid there.

"Hmm? I like a smart thinking man! But you forgot that I have the blueprints!" announced Balrog, holding up three blue sheets with white writing on them.

Gasping in horror once more, Bison took off his hat.

"Oh by the way, thanks for the fight money. Your dolls did a wonderful job keeping the safe..you know..SAFE! AHAHAHAAHAH!" Balrog cried while he laughed, trying to hold all the laughter in at once.

"You stole the money we got from Bison's mother?!" Vega screamed in anger.

"Oh just you know..1 million of it.." Balrog snorted while he fell down to laugh.

The dictator was frightfully quiet, only to scrap parts from his metal chair from anger and a grudge. People can mess with him all they want but nobody messes with his mother.

"Balrog... You keep that money, but when I see you, I will kill you." Bison said as he looked up.

"Let me do it! I wanna crush his tiny head and slash his back so that it will leak the delicious red humane wine called-" Vega dreamed as his little psychotic mind was at work again.

"Vega, is now the best time?" Bison rhetorically asked.

"But I wanna do it!" Vega pleaded.

"No" Bison said.

"See you around Bison! My employee is calling me!" Balrog laughed as a French emo walked up to him in a white and pink striped uniform, looking depressed and sleep-deprived.

"Hey boss, where does these boxes go?" He asked as he was carrying one.

"Remy?!" Vega exclaimed as Remy noticed the camera which had Vega on it.

"Vega..? nOOOO!" Remy screeched like a dinosaur, running from the Boxer.

"I shall kill you later!" Vega yelled.

"O-ok..anyways. I'm opening in 5 minutes so shall see you shadowlosers around; ahshsshshshshzjejisuxfi" Balrog laughed, disconnecting the call.

"Boss! What are we gonna do ?!" Vega screamed in horror.

Bison looked at him and just plainly laughed, "Simple, we are gonna kill Balrog and take over that shop to earn my 1 million dollars stolen from me."

Vega licked his lips, "I like the sound of that~"

USA, 12:59 PM

Balrog stepped outside to throw some boxes away till he saw Cammy white, the ex-shadoloo doll.

"Balrog?! Is this for real?" She muttered. She began walk near the place when Balrog stopped her.

"Hey! This ain't opening yet, not until a few more seconds!" He defended.

"So this is what that shadocrew has been doing for a year? Opening up Ice cream shops in public view to lure people in? How have times really fallen for that old cheap bastard?" She scoffed.

Balrog looked at her funny and laughed, "Ahaha! Classic Cammy! I left Bison and his petty little ballet school! Since he was turning his attention to nothing more than the dolls and vega, I left and made sure to have him noticed my ice cream shop blooming!" He snorted a little while laughing, "With the help of his mother's fund! Ahaahaahahaahah!"

Cammy's were shot wide, she then slapped him in the face. "Balrog you dense twit! Do you realized whose money that was from?! Oh my god, and you even CALLED HIM! Balrog, you don't understand, when Bison is anger. He is not only anger at the problem and the situation. He is angry at EVERYTHING. He will do ANYTHING in his will power to take you out and the people in that shop!"

The boxer just stared at her and just went "pfffft", "You really think I'm gonna believe an ex-doll who escaped? Face it Cammy! I'm gonna be living the dream!"

"Balrog..you are gonna learn." Cammy shook her head as she walked away.

Balrog kept laughing until he realized it was already 1:08 pm. He then opened the door of the shop.

"We are now officially in business!" Balrog shouted. His employees cheered.

People began to walk in, imculding some familiar faces such as: Rufus, Elena, Pullum, Sakura and Sean, Jotaro Kujo and even my 5th grade math teacher.

Elena walked up the counter to order.

"So. What can I get for you?" Remy asked as he blankly stared into Elena's eyes.

"Hello friend! We meet again!" Elena giggled.

"I'm not your friend, now, what do you want to order?" Remy asked again.

"Well, I would like a strawberry cone with chocolate sauce all over it!" Elena asked.

Remy just looked at her with disgust in his eye, "Sounds god-awful but alright. Next."

As Elena left, Rose came up to the counter.

"Hello, I would like one scoop of plum rum with a little dash of nuts on the side. Also do you toast waffle cones?" She asked.

Remy sighed as it was gonna be "one of those days".

"We don't serve alcohol ice cream m'aam." Remy announced. "Especially not on a Sunday, we would lose our license."

"Alright then I will have vanilla with a dash of nuts." She fixed her order.

"Gross. Gross and grosser. Next." He muttered.

Guile then came up to the counter.

"Hmm, it's you.." He said in suspicion.

Remy mocked his tone, "Yes, its me~~ what do you want?"

He looked at the menu, "I will take a cotton candy special."

"Hm wow. Gross." Remy reacted.

"So how have you been?" Guile asked.

"Well, I have been huffing paint behind the mini mart down the street. I think I'm officially losing my hearing. My cat died. Some random fighter wants to kill me and Alex came up to me one day and said; "Do you like my cone? Get it? Cone? I'm talking about my penis." Remy explained but he could finish the last words, Balrog stopped him.

"Hey hey! Remy let's not make this an uncomfortable environment!"Balrog nervously laughed.

Guile strangely looked to see that Balrog was running the place, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Balrog looked up to see Guile. "Aw shit.."  
\---

Oh no Guile is here! And what does Vega and Remy have beef with?

Find out next time!


	2. BELIEVE IN BOFA

Aha sorry for taking so long! My cat died and Bernice Join Smash Bros will return after Halloween! So this chapter is in his remembrance because he was such a trooper in his last months..  
\-----------------------------------------------

Balrog instantly looked with a smug face at Guile. Oh how he hated Guile, especially his old deceased friend, Nash. Guile displayed the same hatred back at the boxer.

"So shadoloo is now THIS desperate?" Guile sighed as he looked around, not a shabby place but this couldn't be the work of a mastermind dictator.

"Nice try Guile! But I opened up this place on my own! No Bison! No DISGUSTING Vega! and no Shadoloo! This is Balrog's world now, HAHAHAHA!" Balrog loudly boasted as Remy covered his ears from the annoying laughs piercing through his ears.

"God everyone is so ANNOYING!" whispered Remy, loudly. He then placed Balrog away from the cash register.

"Take this conversation somewhere else. PLEASE." He asked as he helped the next customer.

"Hey! Watch it! Or you are gonna lose everything!" Balrog threatened.

"Oh really? I have been hanging out with homeless men inside a poorly constructed shack on rainy days, I have nothing to lose." Remy shot back with an expressionless face as he went back to his cash register.

Guile and Balrog just looked at the emo with confused faces, then they went back to glaring at each other.

"Next." Remy called out. Adon, the sour-salty muay thai fighter, came up to the counter with a grinning face of mischief as always.

"Oh goddammit." Remy sighed.

"Hello, I-" Adon asked before he could finish, Remy rudely cut him off.

"No."

"But you didn't even hear what I was gonna as-"

"You are here for Tigger the fighter aren't you? He doesn't work Sundays, sorry." Remy strictly said.

"I am not here for that bastard! I want sorbet! You do have that right?" Adon asked as he slammed on the counter.

"Nope, this is an ICE CREAM shop, maybe if you read once in your life, you could get the hint." Remy sighed with annoyance.

Adon gasped shocklingly at Remy's comment.

"I can't believe this! I'm going to different one instead!" Adon yelled as he slammed into the door. "Ow...n-nevermind.."

"Would you like to order something now?",Remy smirked

"Y-yeah..I'll just get one chocolate cone." Adon faintly ordered while he held his head. "But mark my words, Rene."

"It's Remy." said Remy.

"Right! Renard! Anyways, you should expect to worship me like a god soon~!" Adon chuckled. "My title of the best Muay Thai fighter shall rest once in my hands after defeating Sagat!"

Remy rolled his eyes while checking the cash, and putting it in the cash register.

The door charm jingled, leaving the door to be opened by, no other than, Vega and Bison.

"Oh shit." Remy cluttered.

The spanish fighter glared while the dictator just stood there, all quiet. The people in the shop stood there silently, Sean muttered a little cry.

"I'll shall talk to him, I'm the one with the charms! Vega laughed as he granted a rose in his hand. Bison let out a "hmph."

"I didn't hire you to swoon people, y'know." Bison strictly announced.

Vega ignored the comment as he walked up to Remy with a sly smile, hoping to finally get some information.

"Where's your boss, wench?" Vega's voice muffled in his mask. Remy made a confused face while closing the cash register.

"I'm sorry what?" The blue-haired boy asked.

"Where is your boss!" Vega asked again but with much more force.

"Uhmm..he was talking go that weird-military man earlier, why?" Remy asked.

Adon grunted as he waited but he felt the dark aura of Bison, inching away farther from the man.

"You came to shop for him." Bison retracked, which made Adon react very surprised.

"Grk! No ! That damn muay thai scum c-can die!" Adon screeched like the goddamn bird he is.

Vega got very disgusted when Remy shot back at him with various insults.

"Listen, is asking really that hard for ya? Do I need to speak in a slower tone?" Remy asked as he popped his gum. "Also, take off that mask, you look ridiculous"

"Y-you insolent brat! I shall kill you where you stand!" Vega screamed, lifting his claw in the air.

The ice cream shop door opened another time again, revealing everyone's favourite zoner: Sagat.

Adon's heart stopped as he fainted, finally getting to see his former teacher again.

"Oh thank god he stopped talking." Remy sighed in relief.

"Well that was odd.." Sagat added as he picked up Adon, who looked frightfully dead.

"Jesus Sagat! Did you kill him?!" Vega yelled.

"No...? I just entered. He is still breathing." Sagat corrected.

"Damn.." Remy whispered under his breath.

"Don't ignore me! Or else it's your head!" Vega screamed, shoving his claw in Remy's face.

"Ooh, scarrrrry. I'm getting chills." Remy sarcastically murmured as he made a heartless expression.

"Another one." Sakura said.

"Another one" Sean replied.

"Another one." Blanka joined in.

"Another one." Sakura said again.

This severly agitated Urien, causing him to twitch his eye.

"Another o-" Sean was about to say but Urien slammed his fist on the table; "Say that again and IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

Vega and Remy just stared at Urien, all concerned.

"Huh." Remy added.

"What the hell do you want?" Urien asked as he gritted his teeth.

"For you to calm down, please." Remy replied.

"Ugh..where did he come from?" Sagat asked in disgust.

"Vega! Stop wasting my time and find Balrog!" Bison screamed.

Vega nodded in submission, knocking out Remy by pinching a piece of his skin.

"Oh finally" Remy gasped as he fell to the ground, Sagat snatched him aswell.

"Vega! What are you doing?" Sagat asked with caution to the matador.

"Stay out of my way, mutt!" Vega yelled as he kicked Sagat in his face.

Just then, Balrog came out of the kitchen, adjusting his tie; whistling to himself. He looked up to see that Vega and Bison are paying a visit.

"Oh my god.." Balrog said in silence, widening his eyes. Bison and Vega glared menacingly, sharping his claw.

"Oh Balrog! It's excellent to see you ARRIVE TO YOUR FUNERAL!" Bison angerily reacted as he charged two psycho balls at him.

Sakura and Sean screamed while they hid under the table, Blanka joined. Urien gasped as he summoned his aegis reflector to protect him.

"Damn it! Where is Gill when I need him?!" Urien muttered as he hid under the tables.

Sakura waved as well as Sean, "Hey! You hidin' too?" Sakura asked.

"Vega! Take care of those pest under that table ! Balrog is mine!" Bison screamed his orders while Vega nodded. But he stopped when he saw Sagat, trying to take off with Adon.

Vega jumped in Sagat's way as he abruptly stopped at the door.

"Vega.." Sagat murmured. "Spare us and let us go!"

"I don't take pleading so well, Sagat~" Vega laughed, charging at Sagat with full force. Sagat knocked back as he let the fainted adon go.

"S-shit!" Sagat murmured.

"We shouldn't do this but! Hurry!" Sakura said as she pushed Sean out from the table.

"W-wait? What!?" Sean said as he scrambled.

"Go grab Adon and pull him to safety!" Sakura yelled. Sean looked over at Adon, sleeping and nodded. He slowly crawled as he grabbed the muay-thai fighter's hand, dragging him across the floor.

"Really?" Urien said in annoyance, "Pick him up you doofus!"

Sean looked over and carried Adon on his back, inching back to the table.

"You think he is alive?" Sean asked as he looked over.

"He should be! He isn't cold yet.." Sakura said as she examined his pulse.

"Calm down you brats! We got a bigger problem then Birdo over here!" Urien interjected. They then gasped as they saw Sagat fall to the ground.

"Now, time to make you look atleast attractive~!" Vega yelling in crazed adoration. He lifted his claw in the air and aimed it at the bruised man.

Sakura quickly reacted as she jumped to tackle Vega.

"Sakura!" Sean yelled in concern. Blanka screamed as well but he couldn't really speak english properly so it just sounded as: "OWEGUHH"

Vega then kicked the school girl off of him, as he got up.

"This little bug dares to kick me?!" Vega screamed in disgust.

"Yeah? and?" Sakura glared.

"Haven't you ever heard of respecting your elders?!" lashed out Vega.

"Yeah but are you up?" Sakura asked.

"What?"

"Are you up?" Sakura asked.

Vega looked as he narrowed his eyebrows, "I guess so..?"

"Then murda dat LIKE!" She yelled, throwing a hadouken at Vega.

Urien facepalmed while Sean shook Adon.

Vega made a confused noise while he was fighting the young inspired-shoto. Sakura jumped to drop kick Vega which succeeded.

"Don't ever play yourself!" She yelled.

"Eh?!" Urien said.

Vega kept making noises of confusion while getting beaten up, still wondering what "murda dat like" was.

"Don't ever play yourself!" Sean joined in, he then saw Sagat slowly getting up. He signaled his eyes to Sakura to let her know.

Sakura looked over and saw as she nodded, passing on the signal to Sagat.

Sagat slowly walked over to the altercation between Sakura and Vega, gripping his left hip.

Sakura stumbled a little, punching Vega in his stomach.

"Congratulations."

Vega looked over as he saw Sagat, standing.

"You just played yourself, TIGER UPPERCUT!" Sagat yelled, punching Vega upwards.

Vega let out another confused cry mixed with pain, he then dropped to the floor. "UGH! BOSS! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE! THEY RUINED MY FACE! THOSE MONSTERS! THEY DESTROYED MY ETERNAL BEAUTY!"

Bison looked as his eyes widened, seeing Vega on the ground while Sakura and Sagat stood there.

"Oh dear lord! Vega you got beaten by a little girl and Sagat!" Bison yelled. "Zangief! Get over here and take care of these things!"

Zangief ran in as he grinned, "I am the red cyclone!"

Adon jumped up from behind, "I'll take care of this son of a bitch!"

"Adon..you-" Sagat added. But before he could say anything, Adon was screaming in pain as he was thrown against the wall.

"AHHHH!" Adon screamed, sliding down in exhaust. "I forgot I can't go against grapplers..."

"I got this!" Sean yelled as did his shoryu-cannon. But was measily kicked in his crotch.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Sean screamed in pain aswell, joining with Adon to the wall.

"Jesus you guys are useless." Urien sighed, "He isn't so bAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" The illuminati man screamed as he was lifted to the air by Zangief.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU FREAK!" Urien yelled.

Sakura just looked up while Sagat ran over to the two hurt. "You guys ok?"

Adon rolled his eyes, "What does it look like?! My..EVERYTHING HURTS!"

Sean slumped to the point he just fell on his face flat.

"Oh dear god.." Sakura muttered as she witnessed Zangief body slamming Urien to many different things.

"Hang in there Urien! Use your reflector!" Sakura yelled.

"HOW YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT?!" Urien screamed back, being crushed.

"I don't know...I dont have a reflector.." Sakura answered back.

"You are useless.." Urien said in annoyance, but quickly changed as he was thrown at Sagat.

"TIGER!" Sagat yelled as he caught the stealthy man.

"I guess it's up to me.." Sakura gulped. Blanka quickly jumped out in defense of Sakura.

"NO! DONT! LET ME HANDLE IT!" Blanka yelled. He growled, running to Zangief.

"Blanka!" Sakura gasped. But in her mind, she screamed as Blanka was defeated in less than 2 seconds.

"Well..this isn't my day!" Sakura wailed.

"Let Zangief give you a big hug!" Zangief grinned as he extended his arms.

Sakura looked, "Hey you aren't so bad" But Sean and Adon, even Urien shook their heads and yelled "no."

"NO! YOU IDIOT HE IS GONNA CRUSH YOU!" Adon yelled.

"But..he said a hu-"

"SAKURA!" They all screamed.

"oh ok.." Sakura said.

"Zangief! PREPARE TO GO DOWN!" Sakura yelled as she charged a hadouken.

"HADOOOOOUKENNNNN AHHH THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!" She gasped as she jumped. "BOFA WHERE ARE YOU!"

"What the hell is a BOFA?" Adon asked.

Sean giggled a little, "Wait for it!"

"Hey Zangief! Do you believe in BOFA!?" Sakura asked.

The russian wrestler looked as he proceeded to ask what a BOFA was.

"What is this "BOFA" you speak of?"

Sakura and Sean both smiled in sync. Adon and the others squinted their eyes.

Sakura grinned as she quickly jumped, "BOFA DEEZ NUTZ SHORYUKEN!" performing a dragon punch.

Zangief winced in pain as he staggered back.

"Oh my fucking god.." Urien sighed. "You guys are stupid.."

"Oh MY GOD THAT WAS HILARIOUS!" Adon began to laugh.

Sakura huffed due to being tired but she then saw Balrog being choked by Bison.

"H-harder..I MEAN AUGH!" Balrog screamed in pain (¿)

"Balrog! I'm sorry for doing this to you but a promise is a promise!" Bison sweetly reminded.

"B-bison..you think you're so great! B-but look at your henchmen! They have fallen! Thanks to that one girl and her little friends of freaks!"

"Umm. I'm not her friend!" Adon corrected, Urien nodded in agreement.

"I second that."

"Well, don't mind them. They are just disposable characters!" Sean said.

"This punk ass.." Adon growled.

Bison grinned harder and harder when he kept choking Balrog, it felt great to him. That he didn't want to kill him right away. He wanted to slowly torture him for stealing his money.

"Say your prayers!" Bison crackled.  
\-------------------------------  
Is this it? Will Balrog finally die? Will Sakura help him or just stand there? Will Remy awaken? When will Adon stop talking about Muay Thai, Sagat and worship? Because he is so god damn annoying in any appearance. How will this ever end? Find out next time!


	3. Satsui No Caramel

Bison grinned as Balrog tried to let him go but he just too strong.

"Aww what's wrong Balrog? Am I doing it too hard?" Bison teased frightfully.

The boxer nodded with much strength as he could.

"Then let me do it HARDER!" Bison laughed like a maniac.

Sakura bit her fingernails while Adon covered his eyes. He did like fighting but he crosses the line with torture.

"Bison! Stop!" Blanka screeched.

The dictator looked at the gang who were just shell-shocked. But some strange aura came into the surface.

Adon gasped as he looked around,

"It's him!" The muay Thai fighter exclaimed.

"Who?" Urien asked.

Suddenly, Akuma entered the scene! Beating the shit outta Bison, then proceeding to beat the shit out of Balrog.

"You! I have been searching all my life for you! I demand you teach me that powerful-" Adon ordered before he was stopped by Sagat.

"I don't think so. You don't fully understand what kind of destruction it can cause." Sagat strictly paused.

Adon rolled his eyes, like he wanted to be scolded by Sagat again.

"If you guys are done talking. I would like to order now." Akuma sighed.

Sakura and Sean nodded but they didn't see Remy anywhere.

"Hey! Where is that french dude?" Sean asked.

"Oh I can take OV-HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!" Alex cried as he walked in.

"Uh..Bison?" Adon shrugged.

"Remy! What happened to him?!" Alex screamed some more.

"Uh..Vega?" Sakura shrugged as well.

"W-who are they?" Alex asked as he squinted his eyes. "And I thought HE wasn't supposed to be in here!"

The gang looked at Urien, who was snoring. Sagat slapped him to wake him up.

"Wha-what?! It's over? Oh thank god! Wait...Alex? Pleasant seeing nothing but a trashy New Yorker here!" Urien laughed.

"Well where else would a washed-up Illuminati man would be?" Alex smirked.

Urien snapped as he got in Alex's face. "You better watch your mouth before I wipe you from existence!"

"I like to see you try."

"LET ME ORDER MY GODDAMN ICE CREAM OR ELSE I WILL ATTACK ALL OF YOU"

"Aaaa! He channeled his inner PikachuAkuma*!" Sean screamed.

Alex walked away to the counter, "O-ok. What would you like?"

"A satsui no caramel." Akuma asked.

"A what?" Alex asked.

"A satsui no caramel" Akuma repeated his order.

"The hell is that?" Urien asked.

"SHUT YOUR TRAP BEFORE I END YOU, WASTEFUL MAN!" Akuma yelled in anger.

"Oh my god. You guys are still here?" Remy awakened. Alex gasped.

"WHO IS HE?" Akuma asked LIKE THIS?!

"Oh hey, Akuma. Sup Urien, are those your kids? And why are you still alive, Adon?" Remy greeted. "By the way, the Satsui No Caramel should be in the left freezer. We had to special order it."

"We barely opened today, when did you guys get it and how?" Alex asked.

"Well, let's just say someone is smiling right now**." Remy answered.

"Wait..what does that me-" Alex questioned.

"Oh nothing.." Remy gracefully sighed as he looked at his hand, filing it. Balrog grumbled a little while trying to get up. Sean and Sakura rushed over to set him on a chair.

"You alright Balrog?" Sean asked as he brought a towel, dabbing his bruises and sweat.

"I have seen worse days...I don't know about Bison though, Is he still here?" Balrog asked.

"No. They vanished, all of them." Sakura answered.

Balrog muttered a "damn" as he looked over at Sagat and Adon, who both were talking to Alex about fighting.

"Everyone knows Muay Thai is superior sport!" Adon flashed as he did his wakiure dance.

"Wrestling is more of my taste." Alex responded, "Isn't that right Remy?"

"Wrestling is fake." Remy replied as he walked to the back freezer to get the Satsui No Caramel.

"No it's not! I will literally body slam Adon right now~!" Alex shouted back.

Adon frantically shook his head and kept repeating no over and over.

"No, no more body slamming in here! i still have a concussion from that big freak!" Urien persisted as he held an ice pack to his chest.

"I'm sorry I dragged all of you into this.. I have noticed that most of you took a beating." Balrog apologized as he examined Adon's black eye, Sagat's slashes on his hands, Sean's head bump and Urien's bruised stomach. Sakura still had some injuries but they weren't big as the others.

"Somehow we are still A-OK!" Sakura smiled while holding a peace sign. Balrog kinda smiled in relief.

Sean nodded along but he stopped as he heard Remy scream from a distance. Alex ran to the back.

"He never screams! This means that this is REALLY bad!" Alex hollered. As he got there, he found Guile all tied-up, straggling to get out.

"Who is this?" Alex asked. Remy trembled, quickly dashing out the room.

"Balrog, why did you TIE UP GUILE!?" Remy yelled. Balrog made an unknown expression to the question.

"I didn't tie him up..he left?" Balrog answered.

"Well, he is in the closet right now!" Remy yelled as he pointed at the closet. Sakura and Adon ran to the closet where Guile was being freed by Alex.

"Oohh boy." Sean whistled.

"How the hell did this happen?" Adon asked. Guile got himself out of this tangled mess and began to scream at Balrog.

"YOUR LEADER DID THIS STUPID SHIT! WTF BALROG I THOUGHT YOU WERE THROUGH WITH SHADALOO?" Guile screamed.

"I am! They just found me and began to attack us!" Balrog defended himself. Akuma cleared his throat.

"EXCUSE ME, I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY SATSUI NO CARAMEL!" Akuma said, peeved-off.

Alex jumped at the ridculous yelling, rushing to get the ice cream. "I'm coming,sir!"

"Guile..do you remember where they went?" Sagat asked as he entered the area.

"n-no! They just closed the door and that's that! Though...I did see Juri.." Guile recalled.

"Juri?" Adon asked. "What was she doing here?"

"She had little packets though, and she was sprinkling them into the ice cream. I advise you not to give any ice cream to anyone." Guile ordered.

"Right!" Sakura exclaimed.

Back at the front of the shop, Akuma finally got his Satsui no Caramel.

"Here you go! And the extra sprinkles you ordered aswell." Alex cheerfully delivered. Akuma bowed his head as he grabbed the cone.

"Hmm, I never heard of Satsui no Caramel, how is it?" Alex asked.

"It's the only flavor I like and it gives me my satsui no hado power!" Akuma enlightened as he took a simple bite from his cone.

Adon's big ass ears overheard that the satsui no caramel give Akuma powers, so he quickly sneaked over to the front to try the ice cream.

"Sooooo, I heard you get very magical powers from that ice cream there?" Adon lightly flirted as he stared at Akuma.

"Why yes! But you are too weak to try it!" Akuma shouted as he slapped Adon's hand off his shoulder.

Adon scoffed at the insult, "Weak?! I am close to DEITY-STATUS! Now, give me the ice cream or else it's lights out you big-headed FREAK!"

Akuma stuck his tongue out, rolling his eyes. Alex just stayed quiet during the conversation.

"I'm gonna go check on the others.." Alex quietly said as he walked away.

Adon then grabbed that pint of the ice cream and took a big scoop.

"Try to stop me! Finally the Muay Thai title..more powers..Sagat! THEY ARE ALL MINE!" Adon cheered like a maniac. "NOW NO ONE CAN STOP ME!" He then put the spoon in his mouth but he quickly spat it out as he didn't enjoy the taste.

"EUGH DISGUSTING! YOU CALL THIS CARAMEL!?" Adon yelled as he threw the pint down but he felt a little heavier than before..

"EH?! I c-can't move!" Adon screamed as he realized that he was turning into STONE! Akuma shook his head before he realized that he was turning into stone as well!

"WHAT THE-" Akuma screamed, dropping his cone.

Adon began to scream for help, before being all "stoned" ahahahah I crack myself up sometimes.

"GUYS! HELP! IM-" Adon stopped as his lingo became muffled.

Sakura lifted her head up as she heard a very girlish scream.

"THATS ADON!" Sakura yelled as she went to the front of the shop.

"Oh thank god, did Akuma finally kill him?" Remy asked.

Sagat was the fastest runner in the bunch, as he stopped in his tracks, looking at a terrified Adon, as a statue, forming tears of desperation.

"Oh dear god.." Sean murmured.

"How did he turn into stone?!" Urien asked.

They looked to the other left and Akuma was a statue as well.

"Oh." They said in unison.

"Those packets! They were all in the ice cream!" Guile yelled as he picked up the pint, laces of pink were in the cone that Akuma had aswell.

"How are we gonna get them out of this state?" Alex asked as he looked at the Adon statue.

"We gotta find out what are in those packets!" Guile exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Sean and Sakura amplified. "Hey, where's Blanka?"

"Oh, y'know..napping." Urien rolled his eyes.

"Balrog, we gotta close your shop till further notice." Guile said. "We have to protect the people from these things!"

"I wonder what will happen if I kick down the Adon statue?" Remy asked as he smirked menacingly. Adon began to muffle his screams.

"No! Don't!" Sean stopped as he get in the way of Remy and Adon. "Yeah, he is annoying but we to help him!" Adon threw angry muffled remarks at the brazillian teen.

Remy walked over to the Akuma statue, "What about him? I need to him to summon Oni.."

"Why?" Sakura asked.

"How else am I gonna get more orders? After all, he is the one that makes this stuff.**" Remy responded, annoyingly.

" Orders are the least of our worries, these two are the center right now." Balrog butted in.

Guile looked up at the ice cream and the statues and raised his fist in the air, "BISSS-" ****

Urien stopped him, "No, we are not doing that. I still have a headache. I shouldn't even be here right now!" He sat down again, popping a pill in his mouth.

"Oh stop whining ya' loosa" Alex let out a pfft from his mouth but was greeted with a punch to the face.

"Ooookay.." Sakura trailed off as the two were scrambling in the background, "Hey Guile, got any idea what that substance is?"

"Well, whatever it is. It turned them into soild rock, I guess we have to find a way to turn them back to their normal selves again." Guile repeated. Remy tried to break up the two but they kept pulling each other's hair.

"Come on, You guys are way too old to be fighting like 4 year olds. Sheesh, I kinda need Adon to break up this situation..." Remy pondered. He was right, Adon would use his flirting skills to get anything he wants, that's how he got past so many things. But the one person he can't seduce is Sagat.

"You two stop fighting." Sagat yelled as he picked both up from their heads. Alex gulped when Urien began to grumble about Sagat.

"Ok, yall. Well you be able to help save my ice cream shop?" Balrog asked.

Sakura nodded, Sean did aswell.

"Only if Adon is alright." Sagat said

"and Akuma." Guile added.

Alex rushed to nod while Urien looked away.***

"Come on!" Sakura yelled.

Urien sighed as he shut his eyes

"Fine I will do it." Urien exhaled.

And this was the start of a whole new journey!

*How? What? Why? By Servo begans to play*

\- notes -

*= PikachuAkuma is a third strike player, known for using Akuma and typing LIKE THIS.

** = This situation is in the uncensored version

***= a different situation in the uncensored version

****= from the Street Fighter cartoon when Guile found out Blanka was a man beast he lifted his fist and screamed: "BISSOOOON" while flames engulf around him for an edgy effect I guess idk.


	4. Chapter 4

*opens up the theme song: Waterpistols by Soda, a sequence of all the characters n showing off, especially the main ones. The opening scene ends with the title logo hitting Blanka in the face.*

It was another lovely day in the town of: not enough sources, where our fighters rest their head, even the statues. Sagat is a light sleeper so he is always the first to be up, the second is Alex, then Sakura and Sean and then Urien and etc.

The tiger man drew his first breath of the morning with several breathing exercises.

"What a lovely morning." Sagat noted as he opened his window. Several birds came in to climb on his shoulder and began to tweet a song. He smiled in joy as he sang along; soon, all the animals from the local forest came to Sagat as they all prepared his day. Till Alex came in...

"Yo Sagat! Did yo-" Alex greeted as he opened the door to a grown ass man, witnessing a mother deer giving birth in his own goddamn house*. All the animals gazed as the baby deer opened its eyes.

"Sagat..what the-"

"BITCH WILL YOU SHUT UP? A rabbit shushed.

The baby deer began to cry, resulting his mother to comfort him with her nozzle to his belly. The baby deer noticed and smiled. The crowd went "Awww" Alex began to produce tears because how goddamn cute the deer was.

"Oh my god ,I want that deer." Alex pleaded as he went closer.

"Alex don't touch him, he is barely a few hours old.." Sagat insisted

.

"Urien go get the packets." Guile ordered. The crazy chili dog man walked over to the box filled with powder. He then felt a terrible aura near him, but not ki.

Sakura felt ki instead of Aura, she then shuddered, Guile looked around at the two, damn it. Maybe if he wasn't american, he could feel ki.

Sean gasped as Eagle walked in with his sticks.

\- Pull out the Pin by Kate Bush begins to play -

"Greetings, it's been a while.." Eagle winked as he swung his sticks around. Sakura jumped infront of Urien to protect her friends.

"It has, Eagle." Guile smirked as he put on his sunglasses.

"Hey..uhm..it's dark outside..you uh" Sean corrected only to be yelled at.

"SHUT U P SEAN!" Guile exclaimed out of embarassment. Eagle just stood there, laughing.

"Who knew Americans are so pathetic.." Eagle smirked.

"Hey! We not-" Sakura began but realized that she wasn't American." Oh.. yeah you are on your own buddy"

"Thanks." Guile sighed. "Eagle just how in the hell did you get here?"

"By using my noodle." Eagle replied.

"Is that an american thing?" Sean asked. "Master Ken would always talk about his noodle."

"Nevermind. I wish to spare with you, a tournament is coming up and I want to train." Eagle asked.

"What tournament?" Sakura asked.

"The grand Prix one. It happens every two years. Winner gets any wishes they want, limited to 2." Eagle announced. "I'm gonna wish for a brand new car and possibly a boyfriend! I mean- a lovely cat."

Sakura, Guile, Sean and Urien just looked at him with annoyed faces.

"Two wishes?" Sakura asked. Eagle nodded at the question.

"Hey! We can use that for Adon and Akuma!" Sean piped up before Urien kicked him in the leg. Urien just likes to beat up kids for some weird reason.

"Shut it, Dan!*" Urien grumbled. Sean gasped at the remark and left the room crying.

"Hey!" Sakura scolded as she tapped her foot in annoyance.

"What about Adon and Akuma? What happened to them?" Eagle asked.

"Adon and Akuma turned into stone, so we have to find a cure for them to turn back into humans" Balrog explained.

"I say we leave Adon like that." Remy butted in. "He is more tolerable this way."

"Stone? Oh you mean the shadoloo spice packets!" Eagle announced.

"You know about the packets?" Guile asked as he combed his hair in the american way.

Eagle lightly nodded, "I know that Juri makes them in the S.I.N. labs!"

"Biochemical drugs are surely Bison's passion.." Guile murmured.

"Who is that..*?" Remy asked.

"But I know the cure thanks to a friend!" Eagle estatically cheered. "Follow me!"

The gang all shrugged as they walked out of the ice cream shop, Urien though was feeling a very weird vibe about this.

"I don't know..we really shouldn't go." Urien expressed.

"Oh relax Urien, Eagle is a cool guy!" Sakura laughed, "He knows what he is doing."

As the gang walked towards the street, Alex and Sagat see them outside of the shop while they are nurturing the baby deer.

"Hmm? What are they doing?" Sagat wondered as he noticed Eagle was with them.

"Who are you talking about?" Alex asked.

"Oh Tiger! Alex, come on! We gotta hurry!" Sagat exclaimed as he ran out of the room.

"Wait! But-!" Alex startled but he put the deer down to go rest next to his mother and ran after Sagat.

"Sagat! Wait!" Alex huffed as he jumped from the stairs to catch up with Alex.

Sakura and Sean both loudly sang how they were gonna go on a journey and possibly meet new people, this probably annoyed everyone around them.

"Sakura and Sean, shut the hell up!" Urien growled in anger.

"I guess this is what happens when you don't pull out~" Remy smirked.

"They are not my kids, dipshit!" Urien huffed.

"You sure? Genes do work in mysterious ways~" Remy loudly laughed like an ojou.***

Eagle led the group to the sewer, "Keep in mind, they do not live in the most healthiest set-up." He warned.

"Eww, this is terrible and way worse than Rolento's and Sodom's hideout.." Sakura added.

"Preaching the choir on that one" Balrog added, "So Eagle, how do you know about S.I.N's packets?"

Eagle turned his head, "Hmm? Oh right, were talking about them when she visited my bar, I already knew who Shadoloo was when I encounter that snake****"

"Snake?" Urien asked.

"I then eavesdropped when she was talking to her phone, probably reporting back while using code words. After all, There is a traitor among your group." Eagle continued.

"What?!" Sakura screamed.

"I suggest you take caution but I can assure you that one of you is indeed undercover!" Eagle notified. "Before I save your friends, please show yourself."

The group looked around as they were all surprised.

"A-a traitor right?" Sean gulped.

"Yes, indeed" Eagle assured. " and that person i-"

"EAGLE GET AWAY FROM THEM!" Sagat yelled as he threw a fireball at Eagle.

"hm?" Eagle smiled. "Look who showed~"

"Leave. Now!" Sagat enraged.

"I beg your pardon?" Eagle asked.

"Wait Sagat! He is leading us the way to save Adon and Akuma!" Sean paused.

"Well, he is lying. He doesn't give a damn about either. He wants to cure them so he can kill them" Sagat replied, "I know him, Eagle holds grudges longer than 5 years."

"You son a-" Urien snapped.

Eagle shook his head as he wagged his finger, "Slow down my friend. I did promise I would help them but only for the exchange for that little jaguar wench under your paw, Sagat!"

"He means Adon?" Remy asked, "Here, you can have h-"

"REMY!" Everyone screamed.

Remy just sighed, "Fine.. whatever"

"Now then, no one is coming out here alive!" Eagle screamed in joy. The sewer entrances were then shut off by barbed wire. Eagle began to laugh as he was twirling his sticks.

"No-no one?" Sakura trembled. "WAIT YOU SAID-"

"Oh shut it, child! Haven't you got any manners lately, let the adults speak first!" Eagle snapped back at Sakura. "And I know what I exactly said but I change my mind~"

"I made the mistake about telling you of the tournament, so I have to swiftly kill all of you with my fellow friends~. You can thank Poison for hooking me up with the Mad Gear crew!" Eagle laughed like a maniac. "If she were still with us!"

"You k-killed Poison?" Alex stuttered.

"Hmm, let's not say it that harshly but more of a coma. Oh man, you should have seen the look on that big german's face! Ohoho! Priceles-" Eagle began to laugh but was interrupted by a swift slap in the face.

"FLASH!" Alex screamed in rage as he slapped a blue force at Eagle, the british pub owner grunted.

"..er..Not bad, could use some work.." Eagle smirked."But how about a little class eh?" He then jumped up to strike at Alex, hitting him on the head with his sticks.

"ALEX!" Sean and Sakura screamed. Balrog's eyes widened as he knew this was a bad idea.

"UWAAAAAAGH!" Alex screamed in pain as he fell down on the concrete, Sean charged at Eagle with full force charging a hadouken in the process, beaming it directly at Eagle.

"HADDDDDOOOUKEN!" Sean cried out. Eagle snapped his finger to summon Sodom and Rolento.

"Oh shoot.." Sakura gulped. Guile pushed her out the way as he flashed his sonic boom at Rolento.

"SONIC BOOM!" Guile raised his voice.

Sodom sliced the hadouken in half, running at the young shoto. Sean let out a shriek while jumping up to get away.

"Keep them busy! I have business to attend to!" Eagle ordered as he walked towards Sagat.

"Listen here, Tiger man, you are gonna tell me where are those two little pesky worms or..." He then jabbed Sagat's stomach where it was still healing.*****

"Like hell I'm telling your crazy-ass where they are." Sagat lowly grunted as he rubbed his stomach, holding it together.

Sodom threw a fan at Sakura while she was running at the speed of light, focusing more on Rolento than his brother.

"Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!" Sakura yelled as she twirled kicking Sodom in the face, Sodom let go of his fan as he kept getting hurt by Sakura's legs.

"MAATE MAATE!******" Sodom kept wailing as Sakura chased the man down with her legs.

"Y'know you can just say stop.,I can speak english aswell.." Sakura added.

"Você fala português?" Sean chirped up.

"What..?" Sakura asked

"Tu parles français?" Remy smirked.

"What about frances?" Sakura squinted her eyes.

"3a'lu Daarib.." Urien lowly sighed. *******

"Ribs? I do love ribs.." Sakura said.

"HEY IF YOU BAKAS ARE DONE TALKING, BOKU WOULD LIKE TO GET BACK TO KICKING YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW!" Sodom screamed.

"Oh my god, stop being a weaboo.." Remy sighed as he fixed his hair.

"What was that?" Sodom abruptly stopped as he held Remy's head.

" Do you really think speaking some japanese words will get you brownie points with these two?" Remy said as he pointed to Sakura and Sean.

"No no no, my tomogatchi, as you can see, boku wa nippon-desu." Sodom gracefully bowed.

"That sentence literally made no sense, and I'm not even Japanese.." Urien sighed. " What the hell are you saying?"

"Oh! I apologize! I'm from Okinawa!" Sodom corrected as we all knew damn well that he was lying.

"No you are not!" Sakura and Sean protested.

"Uh...guys little help here?" Balrog asked as he kept trying to dodge Rolento's knives. The crazed militant smiled as he wrapped his rope around Balrog's boxing gloves.

"H-Hey!" Balrog caught on. Guile came in and did a sonic boom to release Balrog.

"merī kurisumasu!" Sodom falsely greeted, "That means time to die!"

"No it doesn't! It's merry christmas basterdized! and that's not Okinawan!" Sakura rapidly tapped her foot.

"Yes it does! My brother taught me!" Sodom defensively replied back at Sakura.

"Sodom, you know damn well I don't know a LICK of japanese! Axel doesn't either!" Rolento answered back.

"Wha-what!? B-but you did! you taught me a whole new language!" Sodom screamed.

"No Sodom, I taught you discipline and respect, not a goofy language!" Rolento replied with much force this time.

"Hey!" Sakura and Sean both yelled in unison.

"Besides, look at you, you look like some crazed 80s fan still stuck in time. It's time to let it all go and join me in reigning." Rolento continued. "You don't need to learn a new language to be successful."

"B-brother.." Sodom silently said. "You're right, who needs this stupid helmet anyways." Sodom took off his helmet only to get a very terrible reaction out of it.

"AHHHHHHH!" Sakura screamed.

"PUT THAT THING BACK ON!" Urien cried.

"OH MY GOD!" Balrog gasped.

"Sodom, Put your helmet back on!" Rolento pleaded.

Sodom shrugged and put it back on, the gang sighed in relief.

"Well, I learned a very valuable lesson.. you don't have to learn a language to be successful~" Sodom said.

"Yay! Now you are not gonna kill us!" Sean and Sakura cheered.

"Actually.." Sodom turned around to face Sagat. Eagle nodded and moved out of the way.

"Eagle-!" Sagat coughed.

"Now Rolento!" Eagle ordered. Rolento grabbed his handy-dandy knife and began to throw them at Sagat.

"No! Sagaaat!" Sakura wailed as she ran towards him.

"Sakura!" Sean ran after her but a flash of light came around as a knife dropped. Blood began to drip from a certain someone's hand.

"How did y-" Eagle shockingly wided his mouth, dropping his sticks.

"Long s-story.." Adon replied while breathing hard.

Sagat looked up to met face to face with his ex-student.

"Adon..why?" Sagat asked as he noticed Adon's bleeding hand.

"Do you really think I'm gonna let this stupid toupe wearing English jackass take my oponent away?" Adon answered

"I beg your pardon?" Eagle asked in shocked

"Yeah I'm talking about you! You're lucky I didn't kill ya the first time we met!" Adon grinned in a grimace mess. He then turned around and did his waikure dance.

"I can take it from here guys"

\---------  
*Diligent by Soda begins to play*

Holy crap Adon is back ! But how? And where's Akuma? Find out next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Bernice Joins Smash Bros is on Hiatus till Halloween~! I am almost finished with ARC 3 and ARC 4 will probably be the last arc (maybe)
> 
> The uncensored version of this piece will be on Wattpad, my name on there is mlg_meloetta. The difference is the sexual references (which is p light, no sex stuff because sakura and sean are implied underage, just way more cursing. )


End file.
